it was never meant to be
Feb. 21st, 2025 06:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
quonitventing or whatever
basically one of my friends verbally abused me/refused to apologize/ghosted me for a month/ruined my image to others/got me banned from servers/made mutual friends hate me/blamed me at the end.
The reason it's shocking is because I guess I just really believed in them? During the entire time I've known them they were never even mean, and we never had any conflicts, but the second we did they just did everything wrong and just didn't get better. I've seen them reflect on their mistakes and get better in the past, and I really thought that all the shared memories that we had would be enough to overpower whatever struggles they had getting over whatever their hangup was, but it wasn't. They finally DMed me it was this shitty goodbye message about how they can't forgive me because of "the way I acted" but they wished me the best and cherished the time we had together.
The reason they're mad at me is I believe just a difference in how we solve conflict. When they did something wrong to me, and really hurt me, I told them, making it clear I just wanted reassurance they didn't mean it, then we could go back to being friends again. They said sorry and to me it was over with, but in their goodbye message they accuse me of calling them "minipulative" which I never did? They just made that up. And because they just made that up, there's no evidence I can show to dispute it.
They did verbally abuse me, extremely horrible targeted messages about private vulnerabilities I have. But I knew they had BPD and also knew they were splitting so I just blocked them for now and said I would unblock them later, when they calm down.
I think really that would've been the most reasonable time to walk away- because that's a horrible thing to have done to you. That's when a line is crossed. But since they were my really close friend I wanted to give them time... I wanted to offer them the chance to recover and turn back. but they didn't. Things just kept getting worse. They got me banned, they started politely talking again but never any apology, they ghosted me without a word, they did a lot of horrible things
but I never gave up on them?
I don't think I was foolish, I always knew it likely wouldn't work out, I well understood my bounderies had been crossed...
...I just didn't want to lose my good friend.
It's hard to understand them as the same person. Part of me is just really shocked. There was no gradual goodbye, just one day we were making art and fic and drawings together and the next everything fell apart. I think I did the best I could've with the knowledge I had.
It's a bit of a relief it's over, honestly, I just hope I can move on.
LJ Post
basically one of my friends verbally abused me/refused to apologize/ghosted me for a month/ruined my image to others/got me banned from servers/made mutual friends hate me/blamed me at the end.
The reason it's shocking is because I guess I just really believed in them? During the entire time I've known them they were never even mean, and we never had any conflicts, but the second we did they just did everything wrong and just didn't get better. I've seen them reflect on their mistakes and get better in the past, and I really thought that all the shared memories that we had would be enough to overpower whatever struggles they had getting over whatever their hangup was, but it wasn't. They finally DMed me it was this shitty goodbye message about how they can't forgive me because of "the way I acted" but they wished me the best and cherished the time we had together.
The reason they're mad at me is I believe just a difference in how we solve conflict. When they did something wrong to me, and really hurt me, I told them, making it clear I just wanted reassurance they didn't mean it, then we could go back to being friends again. They said sorry and to me it was over with, but in their goodbye message they accuse me of calling them "minipulative" which I never did? They just made that up. And because they just made that up, there's no evidence I can show to dispute it.
They did verbally abuse me, extremely horrible targeted messages about private vulnerabilities I have. But I knew they had BPD and also knew they were splitting so I just blocked them for now and said I would unblock them later, when they calm down.
I think really that would've been the most reasonable time to walk away- because that's a horrible thing to have done to you. That's when a line is crossed. But since they were my really close friend I wanted to give them time... I wanted to offer them the chance to recover and turn back. but they didn't. Things just kept getting worse. They got me banned, they started politely talking again but never any apology, they ghosted me without a word, they did a lot of horrible things
but I never gave up on them?
I don't think I was foolish, I always knew it likely wouldn't work out, I well understood my bounderies had been crossed...
...I just didn't want to lose my good friend.
It's hard to understand them as the same person. Part of me is just really shocked. There was no gradual goodbye, just one day we were making art and fic and drawings together and the next everything fell apart. I think I did the best I could've with the knowledge I had.
It's a bit of a relief it's over, honestly, I just hope I can move on.
LJ Post
